


Blind Eye

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo Lives, Clothed Sex, Cunnilingus, F/M, Femdom, Force Choking (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kneeling, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:15:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22422436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: Ben could need condemnation and absolution both, and Rey could lean into her disapproval, her anger, and then let it go, forgive. Maybe it would help both her and Ben.And maybe it was okay to like it, just a little. Ben contrite at her feet.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	Blind Eye

The village was in ruins. The silence was unnerving, not even the chirping of a bird, as though even all the local wildlife had seen the destruction and run, following their instincts for self-preservation in times of danger. Ben’s booted footsteps echoed strangely in the quiet, thudding louder than normal.

By the look of it, the First Order had taken what they wanted and set fire to the rest. Rey dragged her hand over the side of a charred wall, perhaps the exterior of a shop, and was sorry she had; tears pricked behind her eyes at the lingering emotion she could feel through the Force, the terror, the despair. She could hear screaming.

She drew her hand back.

Ben walked quietly by her side, his eyes facing resolutely ahead, as though trying to block out what he could. They had suspected they would find tragedy, but this was… Rey couldn’t have imagined this, even seeing what she had seen. The First Order left devastation in its wake, and the end of the war didn’t mean they would stop finding it.

She only wished she hadn’t been too late to help, too late to stop it.

The sky above them was cloudy and gray, and Rey couldn’t help imagining how it must have felt for these people to look up, to see a Star Destroyer above them, to hear the whine of the TIEs, to see the stormtroopers march out in their clean white armor, blasters raised.

They should have done something. They should have saved them.

“Did you know this would happen?” Rey asked.

Ben’s hesitation was telling. “I was Supreme Leader. I didn’t oversee every mission, every act the First Order undertook. I had my own business, and I had subordinates for the rest. But…” Ben paused again. “I was the Supreme Leader.”

Not specifically, then, but he knew enough, was what Rey got out of that answer. He knew enough to feel guilty, and perhaps felt more guilty that when he had ruled the First Order, he hadn’t cared enough to notice a village like this.

He kept looking at her out of the corner of his eye, like he was waiting for something. Her disapproval, perhaps, or her forgiveness?

Maybe both.

Something crunched beneath Rey’s foot and she looked down. A child’s toy. A doll, dressed like a pilot.

She stared at it a moment, and she could almost hear the cries. Rey looked up, locking eyes with Ben. “They took the children.”

Ben looked stricken. He swallowed.

Logically, Rey knew that Ben wasn’t the same person who had taken control of the sort of people who would steal children from their families, who would murder those families, who would burn villages to the ground. In her heart, too, she knew he was different now. The choice he had made set him on a path away from who he had been.

But she also knew that he had done those things, had been that person, and by the expression on Ben’s face, he was keenly aware of it.

He was sorry. But sometimes sorry wasn’t enough, and sorry didn’t make her any less angry about it.

Rey still hardly knew what she could do, the extent of her abilities. Sometimes she just reached out and… did.

Anger was curling in her belly, tendrils growing and stretching and seeking outlet. She outstretched her hand and let herself feel it, hold it, use it.

Ben made a tiny choking gasp and reached up to claw at his throat. His eyes seemed to go darker than usual and Rey imagined his throat tightening, closing off, and then she let go.

She was angry, and she could use that. But she wouldn’t lose control, not again. She was better than that now. She couldn’t live through Pasaana again.

When Rey let go, Ben dropped to his knees, wheezing. Rey watched him.

He bowed his head, his dark hair falling to hide his face, and when he spoke his voice was faintly hoarse. “I deserved that.”

“Think you deserve a lot worse,” Rey said sharply, surprised by how much she wanted to be the one in control of that.

He should be on his knees. Sorry wasn’t enough, surrounded by the ruins of a village he hadn’t given a damn about, surrounded by the echoes of the people the First Order had treated like garbage. They took what they needed and threw the rest away, and Ben had looked the other way.

He was the Supreme Leader.

“I know I do,” Ben said, raising his eyes to Rey’s face. He was ashamed, but then, he should be.

Rey took a step closer to him, then another. She stroked her hand down through his hair, over the side of his face. The anger was still there, mingling with the urge to forgive.

Both, she remembered. Ben could need condemnation and absolution both, and Rey could lean into her disapproval, her anger, and then let it go, forgive. Maybe it would help both her and Ben.

And maybe it was okay to like it, just a little. Ben contrite at her feet.

Rey twisted her fingers into his hair and yanked. He hissed.

“Get up,” she said, and didn’t wait. She raised her hand, forcing him up, watching the reflexive way he struggled against it.

Then she pushed with her mind and Ben went flying, his back slamming against a crumbling stone wall. Rey held him there, striding towards him.

“You could have done something,” she said, “and you didn’t. You could have stopped this.”

“I know,” Ben said, before Rey cut him off.

She squeezed her fist, standing so close she could have wrapped her hand around his neck instead. His eyes flashed with something, maybe gratitude, maybe desire, and Rey’s heartbeat quickened as she squeezed tighter.

Rey didn’t quite understand why the thought of Ben wanting this from her, why the feeling of having him at her mercy thrilled her so much, but maybe the reason wasn’t as important as the simple fact that it did.

She wanted Ben on his knees again, and she wasn’t certain it was only to punish him.

“On your knees,” she growled, and didn’t relinquish her control of his airway.

Ben did as commanded, sinking onto his knees on the dusty gravel of the road, his skin gaining an even paler tinge than normal. He moved his hands from his neck to clutch at Rey’s hips, a faint wheezing escaping from between his lips, and just when it seemed it might be too much, when Rey could sense the flickering and weakening in the energy surrounding him, she released him.

He fell against her, blood flooding into his cheeks, and Rey lifted one hand to press at the back of his head. He was gasping, face pressed into her abdomen, and Rey stroked his hair.

“Rey,” Ben murmured, “Rey,” his hands gliding over her hips.

Rey closed her eyes and could almost feel the quick thump-thump-thump of his heart, as well as she could feel her own. Ben pressed his lips to her stomach, a kiss through the cloth of her wrap and her shirt.

The need was shifting within her, morphing into something else, to an ache that was less about acknowledging and moving past Ben’s shame and guilt and more about them, about this, about Rey _wanting_ this. This desperation fueled connection, this attraction, this mostly unacknowledged thing between them. “Ben,” she said, and pulled his hair.

“Please,” Ben said, his fingers seeking beneath her belt to find her waistband. Thump-thump-thump went his heart. “Please,” he said again, “please,” and Rey didn’t quite understand what this was for him but she knew he desperately needed it.

When he tugged her pants down, Rey simply let him. She wove her fingers into his thick hair, pulling his head down, and he sighed against her skin.

Rey shivered, and felt the tentative press of his tongue. She whimpered as Ben licked over her folds. By his hesitation she doubted he really knew what he was doing but she didn’t know how it was supposed to feel anyway; she held his head in place and opened herself up to the sensation.

Which started to feel really, really good. When she gasped, Ben took it as encouragement, and dragged his tongue over the same spot again, making Rey see stars behind half-closed eyelids. When she yanked at his hair to direct him, he let her. When she groaned, fingers reflexively digging in at his temple, he licked into her again and again.

She realized she was rocking her hips into his face and she didn’t know if that was rude but she couldn’t stop herself, wanting just a little more, a little more. Ben didn’t seem to mind much, taking the hint, growing more certain and sure and… well, Rey thought, enthusiastic. His tongue was _in_ her, and then stroking up, and Rey could hardly catch a breath, gasping and hearing herself make sounds she hadn’t known her body could make.

Ben was holding her waist, his large hands spanning nearly the breadth of it. He moved them lower, kneading into her skin, pushing the wrap out of the way. Rey was trembling, her muscles quivering, and she almost wanted to shove him away but not yet, not yet. She pushed his head forward into her, holding him there, probably too rough, too firm, and a tiny part of her wondered if he could breathe but she needed – she needed –

He pressed his tongue against her and slid one finger inside her, flexing it slightly, and Rey moaned, and it was somehow like nothing she had ever done herself, alone and experimenting on Jakku. It was more and better and when she came she felt it rock all the way through her so she almost felt she might fall to her knees, her legs shaky and unsteady beneath her. Ben held her still, keeping close, not moving away, and Rey slowly, slowly started to regain her breath.

“Stars,” Rey said under her breath as Ben kissed her between her thighs, and she let herself drop to the dirty ground, her pants still partway down her thighs. When she kissed him he tasted like her, and when she reached between his legs she realized there was no need, wetness on his pants.

She looked at him, his face flushed, and he shrugged a little. “You… I…” His cheeks flushed brighter.

Rey kissed him again because she didn’t want to talk; she didn’t know what this had been and she wasn’t ready to figure it out, here in the dirty road of the wreckage of a village she hadn’t saved.

She wondered how Ben could think she could offer him the forgiveness he craved when she couldn’t give it to herself; Ben had turned a blind eye but she hadn’t even noticed.

So many villages on so many planets that Rey had never noticed.

She crouched on the ground and hugged Ben close; she pressed her cheek to the side of his head and whispered, close to his ear, “Was that what you needed?”

And he held her just as close and said, “It was you.”

Maybe that was enough for now.


End file.
